I’ve been on hiatus with keeping up with this blog but life has continued on with compiling the last pieces of footage back here in Michigan to complete my documentary. Life also has kept going on as for work, organizing the Filipino Youth Initiative, and the Basic Filipino Language classes, as well as being the current Youth Chair for Council of Asian Pacific Americans of Michigan.
Even though life continues to move forward, a part of my soul seems suspended within a dimension of time and thought trying to unravel everything. Often I refer to this as a ball of yarn since everything is interconnected one way or another. Also, It is too easy to say that “I am James Beni Wilson”. My identity has a much deeper history than that and encompasses other peoples’ lives who I value now as well. No one is a just a third party. They are very much a part of the large design of life somehow. Everything happens for a reason whether we understand those reasons or not. Every turning point that has opened doors to me in challenging my own identity, I have been given these blessed opportunities to say these prepared me for this journey back to the Philippines to find the truth. Without these opportunities and if I have not been able to come in contact with countless people who I have come across in this journey, I may not have the tools that they gave me to understand everything and to accept what is.
I’ve asked a few people if I have changed since this trip. They’ve said that I seem happier. Knowing details has helped me know where I came from to move forward. Will it be like this for everyone? I cannot answer that for them.
Finding out that she is no longer with us was difficult. The first few nights being back from the Philippines did result in tear drenched pillows. Not only that it’s hard knowing that she passed, but also knowing that I was not abandoned. Finding a way to communicate my/our story without bringing any disrespect won’t be tricky but will be taken in account.
Coming in late January, my journey.
_________
I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.
–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee
–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary
_________