Out of respect for my kababáyan (fellow Filipinos), barángay (municipal town), and lastly, kapamílya (biological relatives), the blog documentations as well as the film release will keep certain information kept confidential.
This will be the challenge of the film but also a learning experience of when one culture meets and learns about another. Even though I have found many missing pieces of my puzzle, some however are incomplete and may remain that way, and I am ok with that. But I do know that after this trip, I have a stronger sense of self and where I came from.
Anyways, welcome to my backyard!
Barrio Mabuli
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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.
For the entire duration of my trip to Cebu, I was without internet access for the entire time. I apologize for that.
Cebu Pacific
Cebu is located in Bisayas which is the central region of the Philippines. Here, the languages are known as the umbrella term of Bisayan/Visayan which is the major language group and have several language variations within it. On Cebu, the major language spoken is known as Cebuano.
Cebu, Visayas, Philippines
During the trip I spent a large chunk of my time with one of my foster sisters, Heszeil. During the Global Consultation on Child Welfare Conference that was held at the Manila Hotel, I met a few nuns who work at Asilo which is an orphanage located in Cebu City. It was just coincidence that my foster sister Heszeil also works at Asilo. What a small world!
A lot has happened while on this journey. My definition for family has been redefined. I found a lot of things about my history and our history, everyone who I’ve crossed paths with or have been in care of. I’ve found belonging in many facets that I didn’t think there will be or imagined.
Foster Family care: A short term solution until a permanent placement can be made.
Biological family: family and it’s members who are related by blood
Sitting on our haunches. My foster family relatives. My feet hurt like this.
As for my biological relatives, I continue to unravel the ball of yarn and find out more about us. Yes it’s confirmed, we, the DSWD staff, foster relatives, and me were able to find them. This redefinition of family has opened boundaries. I have quite a large biological family from my municipality. My mother is a sister of 8 total. I also have a sister. As to who the father is, there are two possible allegations. Although my biological mother has passed away not knowing that I’ve been looking for her and I forgive her, she is still very much alive in my heart and mind and knowing that she did not forget about me and made sure other family members knew of me.
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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.
Filipino Heritage Camp is now over. It was a successful camp like every year meeting new smiling faces as well as seeing old ones. During the camp and even now, I’ve been hit with an array of emotions. There are no rational meanings behind them. I don’t know what they mean just yet. They are however a spectrum of both positive, negative, and neutral or empty emotions. Not empty as in depressed but they are still being unraveled I guess like a ball of yarn. Rather than layers of an onion I’ve learned that everything is more like a ball of yarn where you unravel and unwind it, and every emotion is interconnected to others somehow.
It hasn’t hit me yet that I’m going to finally search and have a reunion as well. I’m beyond fortunate again to have been given this opportunity. Although I’ve wanted to go since I was younger, and especially when I was 18 years old, I feel as if a chain of events has fallen into place and certain things have to had impacted, shaped my life, and helped me grow, mature and evolve as a person for me to take on this venture.
“To find the umbilical cord, one must first go back into the womb.” p. 84 BABAYLAN, (Mendoza-Strobel)
When I was found, my umbilical cord was infected. Despite the infected umbilical cord, I was in good health condition. A trained “hilot” named Aleja, was called to the necessary cutting of the umbilical cord.
Taken from my adoption papers.
Although my umbilical cord has been infected and cut, it doesn’t sever my ties back to where I came from. This will be my journey going “back into darkness into intervals of pain and joy, denial, discovery, and reconciliation.” (Angel Velasco Shaw)
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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.
Kadtong dili molingi sa gigikanan, dili makaabot sa gipadulongan. (Cebuano Version) “He who does not look back from where he came will never reach his destination.” -Jose Rizal
Here is my interpretation of looking back at where I came from. I edited in and faded my passport picture. This is the earliest picture of me before my adoption. Although adoption may not be perfect, “Binitay: Journey of a Filipino Adoptee” will be taking the darkness and shedding light on it.
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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.
